Corbin's Superbowl Guide

Loyal readers know that we try to keep our newsletter entertaining, but also informative and timely. With that in mind, we offer you this bit of information about the phenomenon known as "The Superbowl". With a nod to Dave Barry, we will tackle this hefty subject in question and answer format.

What is the Super Bowl?
The Superbowl is a non-religious holiday unique to the United States. The name is derived from the practice of participants to consume large quantities of nuts, chips, chicken wings and other bowl based fare while watching television commercials.

What makes it the Super bowl?
Generally speaking, the super-COST of producing any one of the commercials aired during "Superbowl Sunday" is greater than the gross national product of Paraguay.

What is XLIV?
XLIV is a Latin word and is pronounced "Fourty Four".

What does it mean?
XLIV refers to the amount of advertising dollars (in millions) spent for every 30 seconds during the "Half Time Show". To allow for inflation, this number goes up every year, usually by an increment of 1 just to keep things simple.

What is The Half Time Show?
The Half Time show is traditionally aired halfway through the potato chips before the chili and hot dogs are served. This is when the more extravagant commercials are aired and pop stars expose their nipples on live television. This is commonly referred to as a Wardrobe Malfunction.

Do you recall any recent Wardrobe Malfunctions?
No.

How did the Superbowl start.
Much like Valentine's Day which was created by DeBeers, Halmark and See's candy, Superbowl Sunday was the brain child of the largest advertising budgets in the United States. Most notably Budweiser, Coca-Cola and Doritos.

Isn't there some kind of sporting event also on Superbowl Sunday?
Very observant of you! Yes, over the years as popularity of Superbowl Sunday grew, some clever marketing folks decided to schedule a "Football Game" to be played on Superbowl Sunday. In a truly profound bit of marketing genius, the game was scheduled so the midpoint of the contest lands squarely on the time slot occupied by The Halftime Show.

Can you tell us anything else about this Football Game?
Gladly. In 1776 a group of particularly large ex-collegate athletes formed a loosely organized association called the NFL (which is Greek for Soccer). They assembled regularly to play Football, but as it turned out nobody actually knew how to play the game and thusly a new team sport evolved from their meetings.

Who do you pick for Superbowl XLIV?
Definitely the chili dogs.



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